Maki-chan can't lie
by SeventhHell
Summary: As the title says. What will happen to Maki if she can't lie anymore about herself and her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my atonement for not for not updating 'till death do us part'. Sorry, i promise i will update the rest of my stories, i'm just to busy at the moment.**

 **Word of warning: Borderline to M, Maki is forced to be OOC and language.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own love live.**

* * *

It was the end of classes and i found myself standing near the lockers, patiently waiting for her to come. The weather was somewhat complementing with my mood, not to mention the whole place was soon becoming crowded with students who forgot to bring their umbrellas. Ignoring everything, i just lifelessly stared at the cloudy gray skies, wishing that the time would go faster **.** _Nikishino Maki, this isn't like you. She's just busy, yeah...busy_. I mentally scolded myself. Funny though, if this happened a month ago, i might stick with my usual afternoon routine. Either going home early or practicing the piano in the music room. But now the loneliness that i was so accustomed over the years, now felt like a...drab. Hanayo said that i had changed over these past few weeks. And perhaps she was right, ever since i took the courage to say those three words to that person. But for better or for worse, it was a decision i would never regret.

"Have i kept you waiting, Maki-chan?" I could recognize that voice anywhere, after all it never failed to make my heart skip. I turned my head to the side and saw her. The most perfect human being ever exist, the way those baby blue orbs of hers glint, her orange sunset hair that swayed perfectly in every step and a face that was carved straight from goddess Venus herself. Not to mention, she was the student council president, the most popular student in school, and my...

"Darling, you're late. And how many times do i've to tell you, call me honey now." I said with a pout, crossing my arms over my chest then turning to the side. Darling was so forgetful, but i loved every part of her.

"I'm sorry honey, i was needed to fix some club budget problems. But now that i'm here..." Darling's hands were quick to pull me in a loose hug, before closing her face to my ear and whispered, "We've all time in the world now, just the two of us..."

The heat suddenly gathered in my face. Over the time that we were dating, i thought i was already used of darling's surprised attacks, but she always found a way to make me loose my guard. "Darling, the students...they're watching..."

"Let them watch, they're only staring at us because Maki-chan is so cute, the cutest in the world..." She cooed the last part softly in my ears, which made my legs weak. Good thing, darling quickly shifted her hands towards my waist to support me from falling. "That's not good honey, you can only fall to me, okay~"

"Mou darling, you're always like this~"

"AHEM! School rules please." The one who coughed and interrupted our romantic moment was a blue-haired girl, who was the student council vice-president, and Honoka's childhood friend. Her name was Sonoda Umi and her hobby was interrupting every time i went lovey-dovey on my darling. No, she wasn't a rival for affection or something, it was more like...

"Honoka, how many times do i've to tell you, you're the student council president. You're a role model for your juniors. So if you understand, then please abide the school rules and stop doing SHAMELESS stuff." She was a mother Honoka never had. Though i couldn't deny, they were pretty close.

"I'm sorry, i just need my daily dose of Makinium, after a hard day of work. My Maki is just too cute ahaha." I blushed more when she said that. My darling always bragged me to others, because of this almost all students here knew about our relationship, silly darling.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what you always say. I'll be the first to leave first before the weather gets worse. Just don't do any more shameless stuff in school, you hear?" She gave us a deadpan look first before she pulled out a portable umbrella out of her bag and quickly headed outside.

"Well, let's go too, honey?"

I nodded quietly and held her hand. Honoka just smiled at me as we walk towards the school's veranda. Unfortunately, the weather did get worse, shortly after Umi left the scene.

"It was quite a rain, by the way honey, did you bring your umbrella?" She casually asked me while staring at the downpour.

"Umm...i forgot. Why do you ask, darling?" This was intentional, i knew there was a 70% chance of rain today, so i didn't bring my umbrella, hoping that i could share one with my darling

"Actually, i didn't bring mine, because i want to share one umbrella with you ahaha."

"Ehh, i was thinking the same thing too."

"Well, i guess we're really made for each other ahaha."

Ugh, this was bad. All this talk was making me want to kiss my darling, but we couldn't do it here in school. Why did it have to rain today? Stupid rain. "What should we do? We already reserved a good restaurant for our date, we can't be late..."

In the midst of this, darling seemed to be calm. She walked a safe distance away from me, then she shouted, "Rain, go away!" Surprisingly, the rain did stop after that.

"Da-darling, how did you do that?" I immediately chased her and asked.

"Hmm...actually i had no idea, i just channeled all my love-love energy for Maki-chan and shouted it with all my heart." Darling must be really a goddess reincarnate. Right, that was the only explanation. "Well, the weather is all clear now, so shall we go?"

"Of course, darling!" I linked my arms to hers as we walked. Only darling could make me feel this way, this happiness, this warmth, this endearment. That was why every day, i never failed to tell her that...

"...I love you, darling..."

She stopped walking after that. I thought something happened when she suddenly hugged in front the others again "Arghh! Honey, i can't take this anymore, you're just soo cute. I love you too, Maki-chan let's kiss."

"But darling, the school rules..." As much as i wanted to say yes, i wouldn't risk it for an angry Umi. We were still in the school after all, and darling reputation was at risk.

"Honey, we're outside the school gate right now. That means, we're outside of the school's jurisdiction too." Darling said as if reading my mind. The way her hands held me was telling she would never let me go. My heart thumped fast as my violet eyes meet her blue ones. She was really serious about this.

"I guess it can't be helped, after all i just can't truly say no to my darling. Kiss me darling..."

The hug got tighter as she closed her face to mine. Our noses touched first. Weird, this wasn't our first kiss, yet the feeling was always similar. "Close your eyes, my tomato princess..."

"...Honoka..."

"...Maki-chan...

"STOP THIS NONSENSE! ACK-"

* * *

I fell down on my bed, which thankfully woke me up from that nightmare. I looked at my alarm clock and saw the time. "Exactly 6 am huh..." I just continued to lie on the floor, staring at the beige ceiling with a familiar feeling in my heart. This emotion was...ANGER.

"DAMMIT, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT IDIOT OF ALL PEOPLE!" I made some flutter kicks on the floor as i writhed my body side to side. Like a kid with a violent tantrum, but i couldn't help it. For how long, i had been dreaming these kinds of dream now, ten, twenty days, a month or almost every day. "ARGHHH! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

To start with, my dreams were different each day but it had one plot: That was me and Honoka being so lovey-dovey to each other. To give a better understanding, it was like a watching romantic movies where we were always the leads. From a normal high-school confession to some space sci-fi drama, my dreams had no mercy. But the strangest part was, it would always end after ki-kissing. Needless to say, Honoka always had the dominant position, while me was always given the lovestruck maiden in love role, like that line from the last part "'I guess it can't be helped, after all i just can't truly say no to my darling. Kiss me darling...'"

"THAT DIALOGUE HAS A 0.000000000000001% CHANCE OF HAPPENING!" I wanted to strangle my dream self so badly. But i wasn't done yet, Honoka's lines were infuriating too. "'Close your eyes, my tomato princess.'"

"LIKE THAT IDIOT WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" I was punching the drawers near me out of frustration. Why did i have to experience this nightmare?

I continued to furious vents of anger for a couple of minutes. Apparently, this scenario had already become a part of my daily routine. After that, i first went to the bathroom to wash away my sweats, because being angry was tiring not to mention sweat-inducing. My maid already placed my uniform there, so after bathing i quickly changed and headed downstairs to the dining room. There, my mother was already seated, sipping her cup of coffee while reading the morning newspaper. She greeted me with the usual "good morning, dear" as i sat on my side of the table.

My typical breakfast was a combination of diet and greens: Green tea, oatmeals and tomato salad on the side. I was a daughter of both doctors after all, so it was only natural to be health-conscious at a young age. I was eating peacefully while trying to bury those shameless dreams at the back of my mind when my mother spoke something that took by surprised.

"You look paler than the usual, Dear. Tell me, did you dream of this Honoka again?"

I forced myself to recover and act unstartled. "What are talking about Mama? Dreaming of Honoka? Like i would dream of that idiot." I lied. Of course, i lied. Well, i really couldn't say, _yeah, i keep dreaming of that idiot for a month now_.

"But aren't you having romantic dreams of her, more than a month now," My mother replied. She was always like this, talking like she knew everything. In fact, i wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. But still, it was too embarrassing to admit that now.

"Definitely not, what makes you say that?"

"Well, there was one time, when i went to your room because of the loud noises i heard. Then, i was surprised to see you, venting your anger and monologuing like what you did earlier," My mother calmly explained as put down her coffee. I was a total idiot. Of course she knew, i wasn't subtle about it in the first place. But maybe, she could help me with my current predicament.

"Yeah, it's always like that...every morning.." I answered, ignoring the faint blush on my cheeks.

"Ahh i see..." My mother replied with a giggle, folding down the newspaper before turning her full attention to me. "So..."

"So?"

"So when did you and this Honoka first do it?"

"Do what?"

"I'm talking about sexual intercourse of course-"

"WE NEVER DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" The small blushes from earlier quickly erupted on my face as i reached the reddest red of my reds. I had mixed emotions of surprise, panic, and embarrassment within me. "Wha-what are you saying? We're not like that. I..i-i don't even like her!"

"Ehhh! You're still in the 'denial stage' after all this time? I thought the two of you were dating already." My mother had a shocked look on her face.

"We're not!" Dammit, this talk was reminding me of a certain dream. Yeah while, me and Honoka never did something like that in the real world, my dreams were an exception. A cliche beach scene, where me and Honoka were walking hand in hand near the shoreline, then Honoka started running and i chased her. The warm sands and the ocean waves were hitting our feet while the beach sunset gave us a very romantic atmosphere. Usually, it ended with just me and Honoka kissing, but that dream was different. It was like a director's cut. Soon our kiss became more passionate and passionate until Honoka's hands found its way on my boobs, slipping through my bikini- _Good lord, what am i even thinking?_

"See you're blushing now, why don't you admit it to yourself that you really like Honoka. Honestly, it'll make thing easier for you."

"I'm not in love with her okay. Why don't you believe me?"

"Because you're not making it believable. Answer this with all honesty, you like spending time with her, right?"

I stared down on the table while gripping the bottom part of my skirt.

"I..guess..." Although it was exhausting both physically and mentally, i never regretted it just like when i joined the Muse. In fact, the time i spent together with Hono- i mean the Muse were some of my happiest, not that i would say this out loud.

"Do you also feel pain whenever she's getting close to someone not you?"

"I..think..." That was spot-on. How did she know that? I couldn't really understand it but i always had this sharp, pronounced pain in my chest area, every time i saw Honoka with the other Muse members or even her classmates.

"Last question, have you ever thought...your dreams for Honoka, as a manifestation of desire, mainly your love for her. I mean you said it yourself, your dreams always have one plot, which was you and her becoming lovers. So maybe...well, what i am saying is, do...you love Honoka, hypothetically of course." That was a long speech, but the bottom line was if i loved Honoka in a romantic way or not. **Hypothetically** , let's not forget that keyword. Well, i certainly didn't hate her, even though she was the 99% source of my problem, so did this mean that i loved her? In thesauruses, love was the opposite of hate. Hmm...

In the midst of my thinking, i suddenly heard giggle sounds. My eyes shifted towards my mother, who seemed enjoying herself at my suffering. "Hey, why are you smiling there?"

"It's nothing, it's just for a hypothetical question, you're taking very seriously."

She was right! Why did i exert effort in this? I should've thrashed this question or answered it with a straight "no way".

...

...

...

An awkward silence passed between us. She was finishing her cup of coffee while i bowed my head and resumed to my breakfast. However, this time i heard some sobbing noises. Curious, i turned my gaze towards my mother. And to my surprised, she had a teary-eyed face, gracefully wiping it with her handkerchief. "You've finally found someone you loved, i'm so happy for you, Dear. My little tomato had all grown up."

"How did you arrive at that conclusion?!"

"Love isn't a bad thing. It's a wonderful experience that will help shape you as a person."

"How many times do i have to tell you, I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HONOKA!"

"So you're saying that now, even though you already mast-"

"STOP! Ho-how did you know that?" My eyes widened in horror and cold sweats instantly appeared in my body. That was the most regrettable thing i had ever done in my life. It was categorized as 'beyond embarrassment'. The deepest darkest secret i must bury till the day of my death.

"Well, there was one time, when i went to your room because of the strange moanings i heard. Then, i was surprised to see you only with your panties, holding a picture of-"

"STOP! STOP! STOP! I don't want to hear." I covered my ears and shook my head. I wish the earth would split apart and swallowed me now, every second felt like dying.

Then when her lips stopped moving, i quickly wolfed down my breakfast, slung my bag then stood up. Right now, the only thing i could think of was to get away from her as fast as possible.

"Don't worry, it's only natural for a healthy growing girl to do 'that', especially when they were thinking about someone they love. By the way, your lunchbox is in the living room as always. I just want to tell you that before you bolt out of the house."

My mother saw through my intentions, but that didn't stop me from doing it. "I know, i'm off to school now," I said to her while dashing away from the kitchen. I passed through the living room along the way and quickly grabbed my lunchbox. Held it with my both two hands on my chest as i left glints of sparkles in my wake. It was... my tears.

" _My mother...knows...i can't believe it...she knows._ "

* * *

I was walking aimlessly in the hallways. Even at the school, i couldn't stop myself from blushing, not to mention my mind was too distracted of thinking on how could i face my mother from now on. This day was the worst of the worst. Surely, nothing could make it worse than this. That until she came...

"Maaaki-chaan~!" I heard a familiar playful voice which was immediately followed by a quick embrace. This wasn't good, she was the last person i wanted to encounter this morning, especially when that secret was deeply tied to her.

"Honoka, what are you doing?" This girl was Kousaka Honoka, the current student council president and the leader of Muse. She had that ginger hair with a ponytail on the side, baby blue eyes, and always brimming with exuberance. Also, her hobby was to invade my own personal space. Good thing, she was hugging me from behind, so she couldn't see how red my face was.

"Good morning, hehe." Even while facing away, i pictured she greeted me with that dumb smile of hers.

"Yeah, morning." Not that i had any good ones because of her. But this was strange, with just a simple touch, i felt all my problems were washing away. _It's always like this whenever i'm with Honoka, how strange_. But strange or not, that didn't erase the fact that we were still in the hallway, where many students were walking. And this small act of skinship was starting to garner the attention of those around us. "Honoka, can you let go now? They are staring at us."

"Oh, so now you notice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan greeted you earlier but you just walked past them without even saying anything," Honoka explained as she broke the hug. Hanayo and Rin did? I hadn't even noticed. "So, i decided to check on you. And you were all red and seemed like thinking about something. So what is it, Maki-chan?"

"It-its none of your business. Anyway, don't you've some class to attend?" I was trying my best to deflect, yet Honoka wouldn't let me so easily. Ever since, the incident of Kotori leaving the Muse, this idiot here became more aware of other people's feelings. Well, she wasn't still perceptive as Nozomi, but when she knew that something was troubling her friends, she would always be the first one to ask.

"Nah, i still-"

"Yes, yes, she is." The voice who abruptly joined the conversation belonged to Sonoda Umi, the student council vice president and the Muse's lyricist. She had a long blue hair and golden eyes. Also, this idiot's childhood friend.

"Ehh! But we're not late right?" Honoka protested.

"But we're not early either."

"Umi-chan is so strict..."

"Don't misunderstand my intentions Honoka, you're great person, you just need to learn discipline at times." 'Great person' so she was praising her? Why did i feel so peeve all of the sudden? They were talking like i didn't exist in their eyes, not that i mind. Though for some reason, i got the urge to break their conversation.

"There you go again...with that reasoning."

"I bought your favorite sweet bread."

"Oh, why you didn't say that first? C'mon, let's go Umi-chan, our classmates are waiting for us." Just like that, Honoka got easily swayed. She excitedly pumped her fist towards where their classroom was. Umi lightly chuckled at her.

"Just remember, watch your weight. I don't want to deal with your diet again." The archer sternly reminded her. Both of them already motioned to leave but was stopped by...me.

"You two...look very close with each other..." I spat it bitterly. Dammit, why did i say that? I immediately regretted those words as soon as it left my mouth.

"Of course, we're childhood friends after all." Honoka playfully hugged her 'childhood friend', rubbing her cheeks together with Umi's, just great.

"...Honoka...this is so shameless..."

"Well, Maki-chan wants to see how close we are."

My irritation had reached its peak, so i force myself to remain silent. I didn't really understand it myself, but seeing how Honoka showed how close they were and Umi slightly blushing at her friend's action were making me clench my fists. _Why am i so affected? She can do what she wants, i don't care_.

"...Honoka, we're going to be late now."

"Okay, see you later Maki-chan." Honoka broke the hug and waved at me goodbye. Umi, on the other hand, collected her composure, then formally bowed to me. The two walked away with a steady pace.

* * *

The class ended and my mind was still distracted. Hanayo and Rin asked me for the 5th time now if something was wrong but i shrugged it, telling them i wasn't feeling well today. Apparently, the picture of Honoka and Umi earlier were stuck in my mind, yet it wasn't only that. Honoka...she was always nice to others, whether it was someone she knew or a person she just met, she would flash them the same bright smile. So why? Why did i want her to smile only to me?

"Maki-chan, are you alright? If you want, i could tell Eli to skip practice today..." The girl who was looking at me with worried eyes was Koizumi Hanayo. She was...my friend. Typically shy at times but ever since she joined the Muse, she had changed...in a good way of course. Also, we were in the same year and class together with-

"Yeah nya, it's not good to push yourself nya." This girl was Honshizora Rin. She was also my friend and Hanayo's childhood friend. Usually, she was energetic, but this time her chartreuse eyes had the same look as Hanayo.

"I'm fine." I stood up and slung my bag, motioning myself to leave. "Let's go."

They exchanged concerned glances to each other, before silently following me.

Shortly, we entered the school idol research and the other four members were there with Kotori and Umi missing. However, it looked like there was a commotion going between them.

"I can't believe it. Why did you keep it a secret to us?" Yazawa Nico, the club president and the self-proclaimed number one idol in the universe asked with brows furrowed. Well, she always had that abrasive personality which went well with her black pigtailed hair and red eyes.

"It-it's not a big deal Nico-chan." Honoka reluctantly answered, scratching her cheeks sheepishly. I wonder what were they talking about?

"Honoka-chan, if you don't tell the truth, i'm going to punish you~" Toujou Nozomi, my purple-haired senior smiled mischievously and put her trademark washi-washi stance on. Seriously, what did this idiot do now?

"Nozomi stop that," The quarter russian and physical trainer of our group said. Ayase Eli moved towards Honoka and held her hands. "Don't worry Honoka, Nozomi won't grope you, we just want the truth."

"Yeah Honoka, just tell us if you and Tsubasa are dating already. I promise our friendship won't change."

 _WHAT?! Honoka and Tsubasa are dating?!_ I mentally screamed. I might be lying when i said i wasn't feeling well earlier, but now i suddenly felt worse than ever. The inexplicable pain in my chest area wouldn't go away. In fact, it only grew stronger to the point that it was almost suffocating. In an instant, i found myself leaning next to the club lockers, just because i couldn't maintain my composure.

"What Honoka and Tsubasa are dating? Tell me, tell me." Hanayo had a differet reaction, her eyes lit as she rushed to the ginger's side, showing the same enthusiasm whenever school idols were involved. "Finally, this is what we're missing. The Romeo and Juliet of the idol world. You two would definitely make a cute couple."

"It-it's not like that really he he he..." my leader awkwardly laughed. Nervousness was present in her voice as she averted her face against the five pair of eyes that were expectantly looking at her.

"Then, explain this text from your phone." Nico put Honoka's cellphone directly to her face. "It said, 'i can't wait to see you again' from literally Kira Tsubasa in your contacts. But it's not only that, there's a rumor circulating almost a month now about the two of you, sighting in some cafes in Akibahara. I don't believe them at first, but after seeing these text messages, it's definitely that."

I took a few deep breaths to make this pain down to a bearable level. But still, i was anxious...anxious of what?

"Honoka, are you two dating? Just answer it with a yes or no."

"It's a...No. We're just friends." Strange, i somehow had a sense of relief just now.

"Don't give that cliche showbiz answer. Tell me how long did the two of you see each other?" Nico's hands were on the ginger's shoulders. She was clearly angry. Well, if i remembered correctly, she was a fan of A-rise before even the Muse were formed. And it was revealed by Tsubasa that Nico was occasionally sending flowers to them, so her reaction was expected.

"Well...it's after we defeated them in the Love live preliminary finals, Tsubasa-chan approached later that day and we've become friends since then."

"What, that long?!"

 _What, that long?!_ Dammit, i had the same reaction with flatboard. So she and her 'Tsubasa-chan' were secretly meeting behind our backs since then.

"Honoka-chan, why you didn't tell us?"

"Umm...Tsubasa-chan said to keep it a secret between our respective groups. She said it's more fun that way." Intentions aside, Miss forehead obviously wanted something like a lover's tryst with Honoka.

"So...what did the two of you usually do?"

"Nico, that's way too personal."

"Shut up Eli, i'm not backing out of this. You want to know this too right? Just leave the interrogating to me."

"Well..." Honoka put a not convincingly thinking pose. "Hmm, let's see...we do some cafe-hopping, karaoke, sleepover in each other's hous-"

"Wait! So you went in her house?!"

 _Wait! So you went in her house?!_ Again, Nico and i exclaimed the same reaction. But this time, the rest of the Muse shared it with us. So they had gotten close to the point that they were comfortable sleeping with each other. Just how much was going on between them? Did their parents know about this?

"Yeah, Tsubasa-chan's house is very big, bigger than Maki's." Honoka spread her arms to childishly compare Tsubasa's house over mine.

 _Thanks Honoka, that's what i need after this wonderful morning i have._

"So i assume your parents know about this..." Nozomi said. On the contrary on her mischievous face earlier, she now had a serious one.

"Yeah, Tsubasa-chan never forget to buy our manjuus."

"Umm, Honoka-chan answer me this, did Tsubasa-chan always compliment you, exerting too much physical contact and visit you way too often?"

"Strange, how did you know that Nozomi-chan?"

"Wow, sounds like Tsubasa-chan is a good friend nya."

"I know right." Aside from these two ginger idiots here, everyone's faces had a deadpan. _She's obviously hitting at you, you idiot._

"She's obviously hitting at you, you idiot." Damn you Nico, you didn't need to tell her that. "To think that the charismatic leader of A-rise would have a crush on you..."

"Umm...i know about that," Honoka answered with a blank stare.

"WHAT?!"

"Why are you all surprised? I'm not **that** dense you know."

"So...did she...confess?"

"Nozomi!"

"What? We're only getting to the good part."

"Well...kinda..." Honoka scratched the back of her head and made a brief pause. Her eyes were downcast as she let a low sigh. It was obvious that the topic was uncomfortable for her. "...But i can't accept her feelings..."

"Why?" Hanayo pressed her further.

"...Why? Be-because...i-i already have someone i loved." For the first time, we saw Honoka blushing. Everyone was dumbfounded, our leader who was known as a prototypical airhead now had a face of a woman in love. No doubt about it, whoever this 'someone' was, Honoka held her feelings for her very dearly.

"Who is-"

Just before Hanayo could ask the most important question, Eli cut in and clapped her hands. "That's enough, i think we quite interrogated Honoka now. Everyone let's go practice, Umi and Kotori will join us shortly after done running the teacher's errands."

Afterwards, Eli approached Honoka and apologized. The ginger just laughed it out and thanked the senior. Seemingly satisfied, Nico was the first one to leave, followed by Nozomi. Meanwhile, me, Rin and Hanayo were still in our school uniforms, so we had to change into our practice gear first. However...

"...Eli, i'm not feeling very well today, i'll skip practice."

"Sure Maki, i'll tell the others. Are you going home now?"

"No, i'll rest in the school infirmary for now. If i ever feel better, i might join you afterwards."

"Just don't overdo it or you might collapse like someone i know."

"Hey, i heard that, Eli-chan you meanie."

"Honoka, i'm just joking."

"That definitely doesn't sound like a joke."

Before i could witness a similar scene again, i walked away from them, heading to the door.

Just when i was about to pull the doorknob, Hanayo and Rin quickly called me. "Maki-chan, take care."

"Yeah nya, Kayo-chin and i will be lonely without you nya." Honestly, these girls...i just need some time off to think about things. I promise to return.

And so, i trod my path towards the school clinic. When i arrived, the school nurse seemed to be out. So i just walked over a random bed, lay on it and closed my eyes.

I was just silent earlier but the truth was, my emotions were like going on a rollercoaster ride. When i learned Honoka and Tsubasa were seeing each other, i suddenly felt sad with this familiar pain in my chest. But then, Honoka said they were just friends which kinda made me happy. However, when Honoka told us she loved someone, i felt miserable like it virtually killed me. _What is this? Why am i feeling like this way? Why do i always dream of her? Why...Why..._

 _Why do i want Honoka for myself?_

I hated this feeling...

Beautiful, smart, rich, and charismatic. Those were the traits of Kira Tsubasa, even so Honoka couldn't accept her feelings. I wonder what kind of person Honoka fell in love with? I was anxious again but for some reason i was afraid to hear the answer...

...

...

...

Hmm, this was strange my body felt so warm all of the sudden.

As i opened my eyes, i saw...Honoka! _Great, am i still dreaming now?_ Our faces were so close to each other, centimeters away in fact. My heart...was thumping so fast as my amethyst orbs met her sapphire ones. And since i was lying on the bed, my leader was leaning on my side. My hands cupped its way to her cheeks, then i...pinched her.

"Oww! What did you do that for?" Honoka moved away and tried to soothe her sore cheek. So it wasn't a dream. Good thing, i didn't go for the second option.

"I-i'm the one that sho-should ask that. Wh-what are you doing? And why are you here?" This was bad, i was stuttering, not to mention i couldn't stop myself from blushing. Dammit, l was like a lovestruck junior who was just noticed by her senior, not that it was based on my experience or anything.

"I'm here to check on you. The school nurse was out, so i'm trying to check your temperature."

"I told you it's just a fever, i will join the others soon after i rest. Just go, the others must be waiting for you."

"I can't do that, **not when you don't have a fever at all**." I flinched. She saw right through me. Perhaps Honoka wasn't dense as i thought. True, i was healthy physically, but mentally was a whole different story. "So can you tell me what's the problem? Is this related on why you're spacing out this morning?"

"I told you it's none of your business. I'm just stressed from making all those songs, i need some time off." I lied again.

"There you go again..." The ginger sighed. She had a sad expression on her face as she continued. "Why are you always shunning me away? Maki-chan, i cared for you, everyone does. But even as friends, i feel you're keeping a distance between us. And i want to close that distance, only if you'll let me. I'm stupid Maki-chan, i can't know what you're feeling if you don't tell me. I want to understand you, Maki-chan."

 _I want to understand myself too..._

"You're thinking it too much, you idiot. But Honoka...thank you..."

"It's fine, Maki-chan. We're friends after all." Right...a friend...why did that word sting me so much?

"...Yeah..."

Just like that, Honoka was back to her happy deamenor again. She insisted on staying, but when she received a text from Umi, asking where she was. I urged her to leave.

I was alone in the school infirmary again, but miraculously i wasn't feeling the pain anymore. I let a couple of minutes pass as i took a short nap. It was the best nap, i ever had for months.

...

...

...

I woke up and no school nurse still in sight. I fixed the bed before leaving, heading towards the school idol research club again.

In the clubroom, i unlocked my locker, took my training gear, walked a few steps towards our changing room and started changing. I was good to go, but suddenly my throat felt parched. Remembering i had a sports drink together with my lunchbox, i opened my schoolbag.

This was strange, it wasn't the same drink my mother used to prepare me.

The said drink was in a black bottle encased in a very futuristic design box. I almost jumped when i touch the top part, then the box mechanically opened on its own. The words **T.R.U.T.H** was written on its label. Weird, i never heard of a brand like this before. Was this from stateside? Well, my father had a fondness for foreign things, since he traveled at lot, so it must be one of his out-of-the-country souvenirs.

I quenched my thirst and drank it without hesitation. It tasted kinda peculiar, but maybe that was what stateside people preferred.

I then made my way towards the school rooftop, where our practices usually held. I was nervous inside, but outside i casually pushed the door and walked towards them like nothing.

"Maki-chan!" Honoka exclaimed. The others quickly turned their attention to me as well.

"Maki-chan, are you feeling well now?"

"Yeah Hanayo, the truth is, i never had a fever at all. I'm just heartbroken and jealous because Honoka told us she was already in loved someone. But i'm fine now, i still loved Honoka though." Eight pairs of eyes widened at my remark. Even the normally composed Nozomi was taken by surprised. I wonder what had gotten in to them, they became weird all of the sudden.

"Ma-Maki, wh-what are you saying, te-telling us that you love-"

"Oh Honoka, i loved her. I think it's love at first sight, like it's destiny that lead me to her when we first met in the Music room." Again, their shocked expressions only grew even more.

"As-as a friend right? I-i too loved Honoka-chan as a friend, i'm sure everyone does."

"What's wrong with you Hanayo? Honoka might get the wrong idea. Of course, i meant it in a romantic way, i already masturbated to her once you know."

"SHAMELESS! SHAMELESS! DOWNRIGHT SHAMELESS!" Umi screamed as she rushed towards the door, exiting with hands covering her ears.

"Umi-chan, wait up!" Kotori excused and bowed her head to us before chasing the running archer.

"Oi Maki, have you dropped your mind somewhere? Can you look for it?" Nico retorted with a much harsher tone than the usual. _Seriously, what's wrong with everyone?_

"Umm...Kayo-chin, what is 'masturbate' nya?"

"...Rin-chan...it's- that's- when the- I'M SORRY RIN-CHAN! I CAN'T TELL YOU! SORRY!" Blanking for words, my rice-loving friend's eyes watered. Then, it was only a matter of time, when she sprinted to the door the same way Umi did.

And we were down to six members now.

"Kayo-chin!" Unlike Kotori, Rin didn't follow her friend. She just extended as if reaching the faded image of Hanayo in her eyes. "I just want to know what is 'masturbate' nya..."

"Masturbate, verb, the act of stimulating pleasure to oneself through-"

"MAKI STOP TALKING!"

"What? She asked, i answered."

"I think it's better to postpone practice for now. It's clear that Maki is still not herself. I'll text Umi and Hanayo about this. Don't worry, i'll make sure they understand this misunderstanding."

"Yeah i agree with Elicchi, it's best for Maki-chan to rest. Perhaps the pressure of composing new songs is getting the better on her."

"What do you think Honoka?"

"I-"

"Honoka, there's something i want to tell you." Saying it with a resolute tone, i approached Honoka and boldly held her two hands. My purplenette and my blonde seniors tried to get in the way, but the ginger signaled them to stop.

"What is it, Maki-chan?" Honoka looked at me directly and i returned her gaze with the same seriousness.

"I...know you loved someone and this person must be lucky to have you falling for her. I guess the two of you must be happy together, but Honoka... **have you ever heard of NTR?** "

"GOOD LORD MAKI, YOU NEED JESUS! What happened in believing to Santa Claus?!"

"Umm...Nico-chan, what is 'NTR' nya?" Looking confused, Rin asked while tilting her head.

"Look at what you've done! Nozomi, you worked at the shrine right? Can we exorcise her or something?"

"Nicocchi, you know very well that i'm only a volunteer there, not a shrine maiden."

"Then what should we do? This Maki definitely need some divine intervention or anything that will bring her closer to god again."

While the ravenette and the purplenette were busy with their discussion, another hand grabbed mine and dragged me a few steps away from Honoka. It was...Eli. "I'm sorry to be rude in any way but Maki, **what are you doing**?"

"Can't you see i'm busy expressing my love for-" Her words echoed in my mind. It was that point when i had the flash of realization...

 _WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING ALL THIS TIME?!_ I casually confessed to Honoka, told them my deepest darkest secret, almost destroyed Rin's innocence and asked Honoka to commit a crime together! _SOMEBODY, PLEASE KILL ME NOW!_

I never sweated so much till now. The only question was WHY? Why did i say those things? Nevermind that, i had to straighten up these misunderstanding first especially towards my leader.

"Listen Honoka, i..." My words stopped when i caught a glimpse of her face.

 _SHE'S LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF PATHETIC PIECE OF HUMAN TRASH!_ Honoka, she always had those beautiful blue eyes, eyes that could easily brighten up anyone's day but now the same eyes had lost its cheery glint, looking at me like she had lost her faith in humanity or in this case in me.

Honoka was just silent, but when i tried to reach her hand, she stepped away. _SHE'S AVOIDING PHYSICAL CONTACT!_

"I'm sorry Maki-chan, i...just need to think a lot of things." She said with a lifeless voice, then averted face. _SHE'S AVOIDING EYE CONTACT!_

Just like that, i felt my whole world was crushing before me. Tears naturally ran down on my cheeks as i frantically wiped it with my arms. Out of consideration or maybe pity, Nozomi gave me a gentle pat on the shoulders and tried to console me, but no amount of words could lessen the pain that i was feeling right now.

For the next thing that happened, i ran.

I ran, ignoring their desperate calls toward me.

I ran as fast as my legs could take me.

From the rooftop's door through the hallways, i ran aimlessly.

 _I want to disappear. I want to go a place where no one can ever find me_.

...

...

...

In the school's restroom, i found myself washing my face, mixing my tears with water. I asked myself what should i do now? _But_... _what's the point?_ My mother knew my secret, my high school life was in shambles and Honoka...she hated me now.

But the thing that baffled me most was why did i spout those things earlier. Honestly, i had no clue in the slightest until my cellphone rang...

The caller was my mother. Great, what did she want now? "Hello dear, a funny story happened today ahaha."

"What is it?"

"You know your lunch box this morning? Well, it seemed that i accidentally mixed up your sports drink with the **truth serum** that i was developing ahahah."

I suddenly had a hard shaking on my cellphone. Couldn't it be? "Umm is this **truth serum,** was in a very futuristic box and had the words **T.R.U.T.H** written on the label?"

"Yep, that's the one. It had really strong effect you know. Anyone who drinks it **will always tell the truth, regarding with their own true feelings.** It's still in developing stage though."

 _IT WAS HER GODDAMN FAULT!_ I knew something was fishy about that drink, but i never expected it was something like a truth serum. "Mama, i drank it."

"Ehhh! Really?"

"Why are you acting so surprise?! You put it in the bag, so of course i would drink it!" I really wanted to lash my anger at my mother, but if she was the one who created that, then she must know how to turn me back to normal.

"Well, is it working? We never test it in a live human before. Oh i know, try to say a simple lie, just altered the truth or something."

Altered the truth? Okay...

["1+1=3"]

"1+1=2" What happened? Pretty sure, i told my brain to say '1+1=3' yet when it left my mouth it became '1+1=2' as if i really couldn't lie _..._

"So..is it a success?"

"Yeah, and thanks to this my high school life is ruined."

"Aww, don't be like that. Here, let me try: Honoka had 5 apples, meanwhile Maki dear had 8. Both of them placed it together in the box. The question is, how many seconds will it take for Maki dear to say yes if Honoka ask her to get married together?"

"0.5 seconds. WAIT, That's a trick question." Even on the phone, i could hear her giggles, she was definitely enjoying this. "Let's get to the point already, how can i be normal again?"

"Hmm...that's the thing, the truth serum is still in development stage, so the effects vary per subject. It might be just a few minutes, hours, day or might be... **forever**..." The last part sent a chill throughout my entire body. I didn't record the time, but let say from the time i drank until now, happened in a length of an hour. Yes, only an hour and it already wreaked havoc too much damage. _I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!_

"Are you kidding me?! Do something about this, it's your fault anyway."

"Trust me, i'm trying dear. For now, why don't you enjoy living an honest life? You know what they say, 'honesty is the best policy'. Who knows, something 'wonderful' might happen later~" There she was again, talking like she knew what was going to happen. What kind of 'wonderful' thing was in store for me? _Oh gee, i'm so excited. I can't wait._ Yeah right...

Shortly after the call ended, i left the bathroom. Through the windows, i saw how the skies were in the middle of slowly changing from afternoon to evening. I guess everyone left already...

 _Time to go home too._

Treading my path, my feet were dragging me towards a different direction...towards the music room where me and Honoka first met.

 _Since i'm already here, might as well play one last song before leaving._

I dusted the keys and stretched my hands. This place still hadn't changed at all. Way back before joining the Muse, this room was my sanctuary. That time, i didn't have a single friend and music was my the only thing i could lean on. But even that was going to disappear soon, because it was decided that in college i had to give up music for studying medicine. That was the reality for me, there was nothing i could do about it and i was fine with that. Then one day, she came and changed everything...

It was just like any other afternoon back then, i was playing the piano as usual when i heard someone clapping. Surprised, i stopped and turned my gaze at her, a ginger-haired girl who had a dumb smile plastered on her face. She excitedly approached and asked something stupid with no hesitation. "Do you want to be a school idol?" Those were the words she said. Of course, i rejected her, i mean who would in the right mind to accept that preposterous idea. But she didn't give up trying to be buddy-buddy with me and continually asked the same question. As she did that, a random thought crossed my mind.

 _If i could change my life with one decision, with one answer. Should i do it?_

Surprising as it may sound, this girl successfully persuaded me to make a song for them. She told me that their first live was coming and they were struggling for a song. Just for curiosity's sake, i came to watch when they were training in the shrine. I wanted to hand her the finished song, but i had no idea how to approach her or anyone in the first place, so i mailed the song in her house.

Unfortunately, even with all that practicing, their first live was a failure. Yet, she still persevered even if she and her two childhood friend's had sheen of tears in their eyes. They performed the START:DASH and i couldn't help myself but be captivated. Something about her enthralled me, this girl was..shining throughout the entire performance.

Days passed, and their live was still etched in my mind, particularly to that girl. Due to being distracted, i lost my student ID, which was promptly returned by Hanayo. It was very unlike me, yet i helped her made her mind, regarding in joining the Muse. Thanks to this, i became acquaintance with her and her bestfriend Rin. We had a clashed of ideals between me and the cat-like girl. Ultimately, we ended up joining the Muse, us three. I couldn't imagine the awkwardness i felt that time, but that girl just flashed a smile at me as she warmly extended her arm.

A lot of things happened since then, some ups and downs but everyday was interesting. Our group quickly grew from six to nine with the third years Nico, Eli and Nozomi joining. And although i couldn't say it to them, i was thankful. They gave colors in my boring life: Hanayo was green, Rin was yellow, Eli was ice-blue, Nozomi was purple, Nico was pink, Kotori was green, Umi was blue and Honoka...the girl that started it all had a color orange.

 _Why am i reminiscing this now?_

I started touching the keys yet my hands had no strength at all. I was crying openly, the depressing turn of events had finally taken its toll on me. _It's over...the Muse and Honoka..._

 _...I_ _loved her...I'm in love Honoka. I'm just too prideful and bullheaded to admit that to myself. Dammit, why i only realize this now._ But maybe this was for the best, after all **Honoka would never return these feelings**. For starters, i wasn't nice to her at all, always complaining about how clingy she was and shunning her away like she said. Plus, if the almost-perfect miss forehead confessed her feelings and got rejected, what were the chances i could succeed? The girl that Honoka liked must be some sort of goddess or something.

That was right...she already had-

"...Ma-Maki-chan..." I heard a familiar voice, **her** voice. Could it be? But that was impossible, at this time there were rarely to no students here. But when i turned my head towards the door, i saw her...Honoka. She was panting and had sweats all over her body as she leaned at the door.

"...Honoka?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a random update, i'm sorry Maki (Still can't update regularly but i will try.)**

* * *

"Honoka?" My eyes weren't playing tricks on me. She was really there, standing at the door just like that fateful day.

Honoka was exhausted but that didn't stop her to close the distance between us. I admit i was somewhat scared, she appearing here wasn't in my wildest expectations. For all i know, she must have hated now. "...Wh-why are you here?"

"Because i was looking for you, duh. Actually, i was waiting for you back in the clubroom. I figured you would drop by since you forgot your bag. But you never came, so...umm here i am, Maki-chan." Taking steps as she walked, she was now standing in front of me. Meanwhile, i was surprised. My leader waited for me all this time? With all that happened, i forgot about my bag, heck i was still wearing my training clothes.

"...Then, why are you looking for me?"

"The-there's something...i want to tell you, it's important." For some reason, Honoka was fidgeting, nervousness was pretty obvious in her. Nervous of what? _Don't tell me...she's going to reject me or worse she might end our friendship right here._

"It's okay Honoka, you..don't need to tell me...i know." My voice had cracks, but i still persevered. The last thing i wanted was for her to be guilty of my feelings.

"Ehh, you know it already, Maki-chan?" Her face had a weird combination of shocked and blushed.

"...Yeah..."

"But i still want to say it. Maki-chan, we've only known each other for a short time, well almost a year. But i think i have fallen-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR!" _Why are you so cruel? Can't you see i'm pretty close to breaking again?_

"Maki-chan?"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Why are you so angry? Did i do something wrong? I just want to tell you that i love-"

Arghh, this idiot...

"I GET IT ALREADY, YOU LOVED SOMEONE! THAT'S GREAT, BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY OR SUPPORT YOU TWO BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, HONOKA. I LOVE YOU AND THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS, I ONLY REALIZED IT JUST NOW!" That was all i could say before i broke down to tears again. That was right, i lost my chance already, all because i was too prideful to come terms with my feelings.

"Ahahahaha!" Honoka's sudden laugh pulled me away from my thoughts. Wait, she was laughing? Did she want to reject me that much?

Dammit all! I charged myself and burst my way towards the door. However, just before i could make a step away from the exit, Honoka quickly caught up to me. She grabbed me by the hand then embraced me from behind. I tried to force my way out, but she held onto me like her life depended on it. "Honoka, let me go! Are you not satisfied yet? Leave me-"

"Maki-chan, please i want you to listen," She pleaded. And of course, i nodded. I already felt this powerless, so might as well take the final nail in the coffin.

"...I'm sorry for what happened earlier, i just don't know how to react back then. I mean who would have thought that the girl i liked loved me too, not to mention she had that...kind of side. To be honest, i'm quite conflicted..." She paused, tightening her hug before breaking away. "...That's why back in the clubroom, i really take my time to think and i finally found my answer..."

My mind was too emotionally exhausted to analyze her words, but it sounded like **I** was the girl she liked. Puzzled, i turned toward her just to see the warmest sweetest smile i ever saw. "...Honoka?"

"You still don't get it?"

"Get what?"

"Maki-chan, what am saying is...the one i love is you." With those words, i felt the negative feelings dissipating. Was it me? Was it me the whole time? The 'someone' that Honoka loved. Somehow a part of me had doubts, i mean the situation was too good to be true. Maybe this was all a dream or a hallucination due to stress, yes that seemed more plausible. "Hey, are you not going to say something? It's kinda embarrassing you know."

"Ah sorry, i don't know what to say...i-" I took a deep breath to calm myself. She was still staring at me with the same endearing expression. "Honoka, do...do you really...love me?"

"Yes, i love you, geez."

Hearing those words for the second time still made me giddy. Yet as much as i didn't want to spoil the atmosphere, i need to ask her one thing. "How? It doesn't make sense. I mean i was never nice to you, always complaining when you're close and-"

"Maki-chan," She cut me off. "I think love doesn't suppose to make sense. Well, i can think of reasons why i loved you, but if i have to put it in words. I loved you because you are Maki-chan."

"Honoka!" This time, i was the one who initiated the hug. I was still crying but it wasn't tears of sadness anymore. Just like that, she easily cleared the clouds in my mind. This was real...Honoka...the person i loved, loved me back. "...Let's stay like this for a while."

She snaked a hand to my head and started caressing my hair. "Of course..."

...

...

...

Just how many seconds had passed, was it in minutes, or maybe even an hour. Honestly, i didn't care anymore. All i wanted was her...her warmth, her love, and her smile. I could never ask for anything more in my life than this moment.

"Amazing, our hearts are beating like crazy. Heehee, i guess we're girlfriends now."

"...Yeah..." I mumbled, burying my face to her shoulders. We both giggled like idiots, faces flushing like freshly picked tomatoes.

"Sooo what should we do now? I mean couples do date and stuff, but to be honest i have no idea where to start."

" **Then Honoka, let's kiss**."

"Ehhh!"

Ehhh! We both screamed the same expression. Where did that suggestion even come from? Oh i forgot, i couldn't lie anymore, courtesy of the carelessness of my mother. But getting back to the true issue, that thought had never crossed my mind...fine, maybe a bit. Who wouldn't be? Even in the darkness, her lips gleamed beautifully. That aside, i would never force to do anything. "Fo-forget what i said! It's just your lips look so beautiful- Ahh, what am i saying now? Honoka, i'm sorry i-"

"It's fine Maki-chan," She laughed it out. "Actually, i was thinking the same thing too. I just never expected you to be this...forward."

"...Was that a bad thing?"

"No certainly not. In fact, i'm happy you're being honest with me now."

"Really?"

"I told you before right? I want to understand you and also..." My girlfriend cupped my cheeks, aligning her eyes towards mine. Meanwhile, my hands found their place in her waist, slowly pulling her closer. My heart raced fast as she closed the distance. "...I want to kiss you..."

And then, we sealed our lips in the fated music room where we first met. The kiss was kinda messy and awkward, nevertheless everything felt so right. Sadly, it ended when we felt it was getting harder to breathe. I was the first one to break away, immediately turning to the side and covering my face. Of course, my weird reaction didn't go unnoticed by Honoka.

"Ma-Maki-chan, are you alright? Is something wrong?" Her voice was frantic. She tried to look at me, but i avoided eye contact. Ugh, i just need some seconds or maybe minutes to recollect myself. "Maki-chan please tell me..."

Arghh, i couldn't refuse her, not when she was making that anxious face. "It's nothing Honoka, i'm..i'm just happy that you said you loved me and even kissed me..."

"Heehee, the feeling's mutual too, but Maki-chan...your face..."

Crap, i knew she would ask that, but it was too embarrassing to let her see my face now. "I'm sorry Honoka, i just don't want to creep you out..."

"Why?"

"...Be-because i'm smi-smiling..." Yes, after we broke the kiss, i couldn't stop myself from smiling. Love sure was weird, just earlier i was drowning in deepest pits of despair, but now i had never felt so blissful.

"Well Maki-chan, can i see your face~?"

"Wha- no, it's so creepy Honoka..."

"Please~"

"Ugh..."

In the end, i found myself complying as always. Slowly, i put my hands down and prepared my heart for her reaction. "Whoa, Maki-chan is the most beautifullest when she smiles."

"...Are you happy now? It-it's your fault anyway, making me feel like this..."

"MAKI-CHAN, THAT WAS SO CUTE!" She tackled me into a hug, squeezing me even tighter. What was that? I didn't understand, but it seemed that i stepped on a switch or something. _Honoka, you're way too close, not that i mind._ "Ah i'm sorry, i kinda lost myself there ehehe. Maki-chan, thank you for loving me."

With those words, i felt like crying again. That was supposed to be my line. _Honoka, thank you for loving me too, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you._ Words weren't enough to put in one reply, so instead i was going to make a promise.

A promise to protect that smile, to always make her happy, to support her in time in need and to love her as long as i lived.

Holding her hands, i let the sweetest smile i could muster while saying it as endearing as possible.

[Honoka, i promise you, we are going to have lots of happy memories from now on]

" **Honoka, i promise you, we are going to have lots of sex from now on.** "

Huh...what happened? Why it suddenly turned all quiet here? _C'mon Honoka, don't leave me all embarrassed here._ Strange, my girlfriend hadn't uttered a word since then, she just bowed her head and stopped moving. Maybe, she was so happy that she was speechless. Well, i could relate to that.

...

...

...

Okay, Honoka was definitely overreacting. It had been a whole 5 minutes, and my girlfriend was still a living statue. Mou, but love surely had its ways of making people do dumb things, to think that i, Maki Nikishino would say something cheesy like 'Honoka, i promise you, we're going to have lots of se-!'

WHAT

THE

HELL

DID

I

SAY!

No way, no way, no way! Di-did i just blatantly say the 's' word in front of... "...Honoka, i-"

Obviously, i panicked. To be honest, it was much better if she was looking at me like a trash again. But when i touched her, she was so cold, also her eyes looked lifeless. No doubt about it, Honoka, she died...mentally. "Honoka don't go towards the light please!"

I shook her back and forth. In the midst of my panicking, i couldn't stop thinking about what i spouted. Pretty sure, i hadn't thought that far and that was the truth **.** So why did my words turned out like that? For the first time in my life, i, Maki Nikishino was lost. Despair, trepidation, and desperation were all in my mind, until my cellphone rang...

"The caller is...Mama!" My phone almost slipped. I hit the call key a number of times before speaking. "Mama, help me...Honoka...Honoka...she wasn't responding...she...she might be-"

"Calm down dear."

"Yes!" Hearing her voice did make me calm down mentally, physically i was shaking. But if she could give me a tiny ray of hope, then that was fine with me.

"...The truth is, i only called because i forgot to tell about something...something important." Her voice was meek, this was so unlike her.

"An-and what is that?"

"...It's about the side effect of **T.R.U.T.H...** "

"Side...effect?" Could it be? I suddenly got a bad feeling, like this scene had happened before.

"Yes dear, don't be surprised but the side effect of **T.R.U.T.H.** is... **extreme horniness only towards someone you loved.** "

As soon as i heard that, i dropped my phone. My mother was still speaking, but i couldn't hear her anymore. Everything made sense now, why i never hesitated to utter those words. All my five senses just went static as i realized one thing: The gods of this world had abandoned me...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Mak..ch..n..."

"Maki...an.. w..ke up..."

"Maki-chan, wake up please!"

This voice...it belonged to-

"Honoka!" As i open my eyes, i immediately got hugged by an orange-haired goddess who stood by my side. This warmth...only Honoka had this warmth, so vibrant and enchanting. Yet as much as i wanted to be engulfed by this feeling, my body remembered the horrors i had done and instinctively backed away.

"Ar-are you alright now?" Honoka asked. As expected, eyes looking anywhere but me.

"I'm...not, there are lots of things going in my mind right now. Honoka, there's something i want you to know."

"...It's...fine. Honestly, i don't remember much...i mean i remember but..." She was too blushed to continue. She comically slung her bag, motioning herself to leave. "Ahh i'm going buy some drinks, the vending machines are still working at this hour aha aha aha. Tomato juice right?"

It hurt me so much that she was dodging me now. Still, i steeled my resolve to continue. "Honoka wait, just please listen to what am i going to say."

She didn't utter a word, instead slowly faced me and nodded.

 _This is it Maki, just simply explain your circumstance to her. Honoka will understand right? Right, of course...of course..._

"Honoka, don't..."

"Don't?"

"Don't...don't BREAK UP WITH ME, I BEG YOU! WAHH! I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO EVER LET YOU GO!" Again, for the first time in my life, i, Maki Nikishino beg. The sight was too embarrassing to see, i was on fours as i cried towards her feet. I asked myself why did i resort to this, yet the answer was simple: Honoka was far greater than my pride and for that i was willing to do anything just to keep our relationship together.

"...Maki-chan..."

* * *

"Maki-chan, hurry up!"

The sky was so dark now as we trudged our way on the suburban streets. Come to think of it, this was also the first time she and i walked home together. Back then, Honoka invited me a number of times yet i always refused the invitation. Even so, i couldn't properly do a simple thing such a moving my own feet. In my mind, thoughts were swirling like crazy, i was anxious. Just like that, Honoka forgave me, but was it alright? Was it okay to believe that? She wouldn't dump me right? She wouldn't go to her 'Tsubasa-chan' after this, or maybe to her childhood friends 'Umi-chan' and 'Kotori-chan', not to mention a beautiful and mature senior called 'Eli-chan'. Compared to them, they were all much better and more suited to Honoka than i would ever be. With all the negativity aside, Honoka's words were the only thing i could cling to.

"Maki-chan, you're dazing again. Are you sure you are alright?" Those baby blue orbs of hers looked at me with great concern. I could only nod, because if i answered, pretty sure i would say no. "Well, you definitely need some rest. This is my stop, yours is in the other way right?"

This was the time, we parted ways. _'Parted ways' huh, why am i so uneasy with those words_? She already took a step away from me...another step...then another step...and another step...

"Honoka!"

"Wha-what is it, Maki-chan? You startled me."

"Sleep with me tonight!"

"Ehhh! Oh do you mean like a sleepover?"

"...Yeah..."

"I would love to. Wait, let me text Yuhiko." As Honoka excitedly fiddled with her phone, i noticed the passersby's reactions. They were all flustered, murmuring and averting my gaze. Well, not that i care anyway, only Honoka mattered in my mind right now. "Aaaand done, my mother is probably busy at this time, so she'll tell her for me. By the way, why the sudden invitation?"

[Ah that, nothing, nothing at all. I just felt like it.]

" **Ah that, i'm afraid if i let you alone, you'll think i'm not worthy for you and leave me**..." Ugh, i felt so stupid for letting my anxieties take over. In the end, it was Honoka's decision whether she would leave me or not, i just...never expected to love her so much.

"Aww Maki-chan, don't ever think like that." Honoka pulled me into a warm hug. "You know, i think loving someone is accepting the whole of that person, her strong points and flaws. That's why Maki-chan, i decided no matter what happens i'll just continue loving you, that is my answer."

"HONOKA!" Tears ran down in my cheeks as i returned the hug. I wasn't holding back myself anymore. However, putting much of my weight forward, we both lost balance and tripped over the ground. "Honoka, are you okay? I'm sorry, i-"

She clasped her hands on my neck. "I'm fine, Maki-chan. Just promise me, you won't bottle up your feelings anymore. It hurts me when you're hurting yourself."

"Yes, yes, i promised! I loved you so-"

I was pulled into a sudden kiss. It was there again, the otherworldly blissful sensation. Her lips was so soft and tasted like strawberries, maybe that was her favorite food too. Still, i couldn't believe that we were doing it in the middle of streets where many people watc- PEOPLE?!

As my eyes widened in realization, i pulled away. It was too late, the crowd were clapping at us, some even had the gall to take pictures and record the whole thing. My face reached a whole new level of redness, while the sound of their cheers amplified my embarrassment more. In a swift motion, i helped Honoka get up and dragged her away.

A few turns away, we were now in an empty alleyway. My heart was still beating so fast mixed with elation and embarrassment. "I think we are safe now. Why did you do that anyway? That's so embarrassing."

"Ehehe sorry i couldn't help myself, the crying Maki-chan was so cute too."

"...I'm not mad, you know..."

"So cute~" She squealed and hugged me. Honestly, i didn't get what 'so cute~' about it, i was just glad things okay now between me and Honoka. After a minute of hugging, she managed to calm down and extended her hand towards me. "Let's go, Maki-chan."

"Yeah."

* * *

After that, things went without a hitch, we arrived at my house and entered it shortly. During our walk, i never let go of Honoka's hand and probably never would, not literally speaking. What could i say, whenever i touched her, all the negative feelings were washing away, everything seemed so bright and lighthearted.

But this was strange, the hallways' lights were off. That didn't seem bothered Honoka though, she was busy admiring how spacious and extravagant the place. However, as we reached the living room, the darkness continued. "Hold on Honoka, i'm going to-"

"Congratulations!" As the light turned on, two familiar voices greeted us complete with confetti and party poppers. Standing right in front of us, were my Mother and a black-haired girl who wore only one expression. "This is truly a wonderful day, right Sachi?"

"Yes, to think that spring would finally come to Maki-sama. What a joyous day indeed." This girl's name was Sachika Misato, Sachi for short. A college-age girl who serve here before the time i couldn't remember. She had fondness for victorian-styled maid uniform and talented in any maid-related chores. "Red and orange, their aura complement each other. Maki-sama has an excellent eye for romance."

"That's my girl. Honoka honey sure is cute, she really resembled Homura in our younger years."

"Ehh, you know my mom?"

"More than knowing, we were close friends. Back in Otonokizaka, she was the-"

"Wait, wait, wait, Mama and i have something to talk about first **privately**."

"Oh, we have?"

"Yes. Sachi, can you please guide Honoka to my room?"

"As you wish, Maki-sama. Honoka-sama, please follow me." Sachi performed a ladies' curtsy and took the lead. Meanwhile, Honoka just nodded, looking confused. The living room fell into silence as we waited for them to close the door.

"So, what's the topic?"

"Don't play dumb. It's about the **T.R.U.T.H.** I need to learn more about it." I felt a bit bad glaring at my own mother, but i couldn't help it. First and foremost, she was the source of my problems which wouldn't happen if she only learned to be more careful.

"Honestly speaking, i already told you all i know. It's a powerful truth serum that let people tell the truth regarding with their own true feelings. Everything was almost perfect, if not for the side effect."

"Then why are you developing a truth serum in the first place?"

"It's not that i wanted to, the government asked me. Ideally, they want to use it in rehabilitating criminals, you know living an honest life. Still, it was a shocke to me that you accidentally drink it because of my fault. Sorry..."

"Don't say sorry, you're my mother, sheesh."

"So that means, you're not angry at me anymore?"

"Well, i WAS angry, i thought i lost everything. But if not for the **T.R.U.T.H.** , i would never realize my love for Honoka, so for that part, i was kinda thankful..."

"Maki dear!" She hugged me. Sensing her relief, i guess she was more anxious about this than i was. "I promise Mama will do her best to help you."

"Okay, okay. Mama, you're way too close."

"Oh sorry about that, or maybe you want Honoka honey the one hugging you right now."

[No.]

" **Yes**. **I mean yes- Arghh.** "

"Ahahaha i guess you're missing your girlfriend. She's a good girl Maki dear, don't keep waiting."

"Yes."

After our conversation, i rushed my way to the second floor. I felt stupid for being excited to meet my girlfriend again, i mean it was only minutes when we got separated. My room was located at the near end of the hallways, so i had to run a few steps more. In front of the door, i caught my breath and fixed my hair before twisting the doorknob.

"Oh Maki-chan." My girlfriend greeted me. She was sitting on the floor with her head resting on my coffee table.

"Honoka..."

"Your room was nice, a bit airy than mine but it definitely had some Maki-feel on it." She smiled and i couldn't stop blushing. I sat across her side of the table, stealing some glances along the way.

"...Thanks..."

"So what should we do now? I don't feel like sleeping yet."

" **Well, we can always have se-** " _BAM! BAM! BAM!_ I banged my head to the table. That was so close! I almost muttered the 's' word again. Gods, why now? Was it because i was so conscious of her? Back at school and the time when we were walking down the streets, things were so dark and my mind was distracted. It was only now, when i took a good look at her face and gosh she was beautiful. Plus, we were lovers...alone in a room...had nothing to do...and... _Arghh. I'm thinking of that again! BAM! BAM BAM!_

"...Maki-chan, are you alright? You suddenly..." Honoka scooted towards me and her BOOBS! Two soft 'manjuus' were sandwiching my arm. Combined it with that worried face and it was a killer.

"It-it's fine Honoka. Actually, if i hadn't done this, i wouldn't calm down." I kept averting my gaze yet my eyes always found its ways to ogle at her breasts. It was like her boobs had its own laws of universal gravitation, pulling me...closer...closer...closer...

 _Stop hands! What are you doing?!_ I almost groped her like my purple-haired senior. This was bad, real bad, i pulled away my hands at the last second but she was definitely weirded at my actions. "...Maki-chan?"

"Ah Honoka, sorry i have to use the bathroom."

"Ehh but you just got here."

"I know, i promise it'll be quick. So...umm i'll go now."

Leaving the room fast, i ran towards our bathroom. At the sink, i washed my face, hoping to calm down my ever-beating heart and getting this out of my system.

"SHE WAS SO CUTE!"

Honoka, back then i always viewed her as my cheerful airhead leader, but now that she was my girlfriend, she was...pretty like the prettiest of them all. What was that? And was i seeing roses in the background? Was this what people in loved felt all the time? All i know was, i had to figure out a way to control this goddamn side effect.

I lost track of time and spent almost 10 minutes in the bathroom. I facepalmed, all that time thinking and no plan in mind. To begin with, the task seemed impossible. Feeling defeated, i walked towards my room, but then someone shadily came out from on my room's door. It was my mother.

"All set, ehehehe."

"Mama, what are you doing?" Hearing those shrewd laughs of hers, no doubt about it, she was scheming something.

"AH- nothing, nothing much. I just wanna talk to Honoka honey here. Oh look at the time, i have some medical reports to attend to." For some reason, she was somewhat hasty to exit the scene. When she made a safe distance, she spoke again. " **Maki-dear, good luck**."

Sighing, i paid no attention to her words, i had to apologize to Honoka first after all. As i returned the room, Honoka was facing back at me, holding something. "Sorry for making you wait, Honoka. Sorry."

"No it's fine, your mother was keeping me company. We talked about my mom, Otonokizaka and-" As Honoka turned towards me, my eyes widened in horror. In her hand, there was a picture, a picture that i wanted her to be the last person in the world to find out.

"Honoka, don't touch that! That's dirty!" I immediately pounced her, trying to snatch the picture. It might be forceful, but i was just saving her from a much cruel fate to come.

"Maki-chan, calm down. Why is it dirty anyway? As far as i can see, this photo was beautifully taken." Honoka didn't try to fight back, but she wasn't giving it easily either.

"Just give me that Honoka, i need to burn it down. Trust me, it's for your own sake." We continued to wrestle on floor but my hands kept hitting the air, Honoka had better reflexes than i was. This was bad, i should've disposed of that picture ages ago.

"No, Maki-chan, not until you give me a proper reason."

"Arghh, why are you being stubborn now? I told you that picture needs to be erased, i'm just protecting you!"

"...Sorry..." I was surprised. That wasn't the reply, i was expecting to hear. Honoka...she looked so sad. "I guess i just want to know more about you. I told you right? I'm stupid, i can't really know what you're feeling unless you told me. That's why i'm so happy when you invited me to a sleepover, i thought you'd finally opening up to me, but in the end i got selfish as always. Sorry..."

"NO, you're not an idiot and definitely not selfish, you're the one i loved. It's just...i'm scared...i'm scared that i might do something for you to hate me. That's my biggest fear right now."

"Aww Maki-chan, i would never hate you, i loved you."

"Thank you, Honoka..." Having that reassurance, my head slowly fell to her shoulders. So being in loved, wasn't all happy-happy, there were tough times too. But i think as long we loved each other, for sure we could overcome anything life threw at us.

"So umm...Maki-chan, this picture. Why is it dirty?"

Until now...

As she showed me the photo, sweats formed in my body. The god-forsaken item was a picture of Honoka in her white and blue swimsuit, taken from the time we went to my beach house. "Wha- I can't really tell you..."

"Why?"

"Because, once you know, you'll hate me for sure."

"I won't, trust me."

"You will, i just knew it."

"Maki-chan~" She cupped my both cheeks and look at me seriously in the eyes. "I, too have **a secret that i kept from everybody,** so i kinda understand how you feel, but Maki-chan trust me, i will never hate you."

Seeing the resolution on her face, i mustered every courage i had left. "You see...it's umm...that picture... **that's the picture i used when i masturbate to you.** "

Now, that i said it, i kinda had a sense of relief. But that was soon changed, when i saw Honoka's expression. She unconsciously dropped the photo...

"HONOKA, I'M SORRY. DON'T LEAVE ME!"

* * *

 **Meanwhile somewhere in the Nikishino household**

"May i imply again for the fourth time, but should we really do this? Isn't it supposed to be done out of pure will."

"Of course, Sachi. My plan was perfect. Soon those two will...ehehe..."

"Well, you're the mistress of the house, so i'll follow your orders."

"Trust me, after this Maki-dear and Honoka honey will thank us."


End file.
